What do I know of Holy?

Judges 20: 17-28 The Message

17 The men of Israel, excluding Benjamin, mobilized four hundred divisions of sword-wielding fighting men.
18 They set out and went to Bethel to inquire of God. The People of Israel said, "Who of us shall be first to go into battle with the Benjaminites?" God said, "Judah goes first."
19 -21 The People of Israel got up the next morning and camped before Gibeah. The army of Israel marched out against Benjamin and took up their positions, ready to attack Gibeah. But the Benjaminites poured out of Gibeah and devastated twenty-two Israelite divisions on the ground.
22 -23 The Israelites went back to the sanctuary and wept before God until evening. They again inquired of God, "Shall we again go into battle against the Benjaminites, our brothers?" God said, "Yes. Attack."
24 -25 The army took heart. The men of Israel took up the positions they had deployed on the first day. On the second day, the Israelites again advanced against Benjamin. This time as the Benjaminites came out of the city, on this second day, they devastated another eighteen Israelite divisions, all swordsmen.
26 All the People of Israel, the whole army, were back at Bethel, weeping, sitting there in the presence of God. That day they fasted until evening. They sacrificed Whole-Burnt-Offerings and Peace-Offerings before God.
27 -28 And they again inquired of God. The Chest of God's Covenant was there at that time with Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, as the ministering priest. They asked, "Shall we again march into battle against the Benjaminites, our brothers? Or should we call it quits?"

And God said, "Attack. Tomorrow I'll give you victory."

As I read through God's word from the perspective as God's personal love letter to me, I am having to "work out my faith." As the Israelites desired the "good life," I realize that I too desire the good life. God desires obedience and holiness. What does that mean for me?

In my present struggles, I have questioned God. My counselor recently asked me difficult questions about what if I am exactly where God wants me to be. It is hard to comprehend but if the Lord is using it to bring me to Him, then let it be. I realize my desperate need for Him. I see that my desire for the good life is greater than my desire to know Him. Lord, bring about holiness in me.

In the passage above, the first two battles had many casualties and the battle was not won. In the third battle, the Israelites were given the victory.

Lord, I think of You and Your holiness. I'm in the midst of the battle. What do I know of holy?